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General warns of Iraq being overrun by Iraqis

Also reports "major improvements."

Washington - Over two days of testimony General Petraeus delivered dire warnings to Congress on the consequences that would result from a US military withdrawal from Iraq.
"If we leave they'll be running the whole place, without any input from us," he said in a reply to a question from Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE).


"Instead of massive sectarian unrest and general chaos going on under our noses we'll have to watch helplessly from the outside. I mean not making much of difference from the inside is one thing - but making no difference from the outside is unacceptable. Additionally, without us there who are they to blame for the lack of electricity, security or jobs? Leaving them in such a state of confusion would be cruel."
The general went on to point out that during the surge the mood among Baghdad residents has improved drastically, going from suicidally depressed to merely an acute sense hopelessness.
"At this rate Iraqis will be terribly unhappy be the end of the decade. I think that's a significant achievement."
He concluded his remarks with a prediction for his next report, due in six months time.
"The next time you see me, I really believe we will be down to a thousand murders a month. But maybe I'm being too optimistic. Don't hold me to that."
Ambassador Crocker, also testifying in committee sessions, told congressmen that the passing grade in Iraqi schools would be lowered to 30%, in line withe new definition of success being used in the country.
"You have to keep up with the times. This is exactly the kind of dynamic and flexible educational system we envisioned in 2003. Realistically, reaching less than 50% of your goals is still clearly a success."

And that ends the Onion rip-off portion of this blog.

Monday morning will be a doozy...

No one knows what's going to happen on Monday morning but a lot (A LOT) of brokers are going to get ulcers worrying about it this weekend. If you're walking down Wall street just remember to look up if things are go badly. Nobody wants to be killed by falling overweight trader in Bruno Magli's.

I have family members who work in the finance in Hong Kong, Paris and New York and none of them are sleeping well tonight.
Imagine a whole office doing this:


As a tip for next time: Maybe it's not a good idea to rate loans without enough collateral given to unreliable borrowers as AAA or AA. Just an idea. It's not like these defaults came out of nowhere. I saw a loan on American TV with an ungodly interest rate and NO CREDIT CHECK! That's insanity. This lesson had to be learned, hopefully it won't be too costly.


And as a mild pick me up:


What makes this video really cool is the setting and the huge cast. What makes it disturbing in the bald middle-aged guy playing the teenage girl role.

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As an add on. The chicken/egg thing was an argument hashed out over some Budweisers... and my opponent still thinks my argument is circular. I stand by it. And by the fact that I can type drunk.

The drunk dial. With a keyboard.

Q: What came first - the chicken or the egg?

A: The egg.

Rationale:
1. The first egg did not contain a chicken.
2. The first chicken was hatched from an egg.

There. I just had to get that off my chest. Now if you'll excuse me, i have a big meeting with a hang-over in 8 hours or so.

Professor Murder
(random music link)

Dizzee Rascal - Sirens (I just like the horse)

No End in Sight

Why is it so bad in Baghdad?
Don't like to read incredibly depressing, long winded books?

Someone made a movie.

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